I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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