He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Did I show you my penis last night?
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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