Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
