Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
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