My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Randomize
