Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Randomize
