The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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