that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
