also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
