this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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