Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
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