Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Randomize
