Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
