I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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