we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Randomize
