I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Randomize
