i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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