Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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