Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize
