Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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