Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
