I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Why is there bacon in the couch?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
