hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
