Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
