girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Randomize
