woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
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