I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Randomize
