It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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