i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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