If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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