part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
