if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
