Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
