Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
