i barfeds in our rink
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
