Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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