Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
In other news, I just burned my penis
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Randomize
