# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
