official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
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