Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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