is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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