hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
