There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize
