ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Randomize
