I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
