You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Someone shit on the floor
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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