My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
We are two peas in an std pod
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
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