So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
