I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
