first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
