Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
