In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I came so hard my ears popped.
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