when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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