Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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