i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
