Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Dick very happy bro
Randomize
